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Hi, I’m Rebecca Frankel. I write words and dream up ideas.
FAQs:
Q: Word on the street is that you’re a ninja turtles fan. Are you actually a fan of the turtles or are you just a poser?
A: I am definitely a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan. But only of the 1990 live-action film that I have on VHS tape. Everyone says Goonies was the highlight of Corey Feldman’s career, but personally, I think it was him as Rafael. Rafael was the black sheep among his mutated amphibian brothers. They all had the sweet voices of Californian surfer dudes, while he alone had a Brooklyn accent. The reason for this is one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of the world. At least they had pizza.
Q: What is the most monstrous thing you have ever eaten?
A: The Virginia State Fair is a bazaar of indescribable fried objects. A madhouse of experiments in saturated fats. It was there I tried the pork parfait. Pork barbecue layered with mashed potatoes and tangy BBQ sauce in a parfait dish. However, another culinary abomination graced my lips that day: It’s name is The Twinx. Someone took it upon themselves to stuff a Twix bar into a Twinkie, deep fry it, and dip it in chocolate. No regrets.
Q: If you were to star in any reality television show, what would it be?
A: I would want to be in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy because every single one of those guys are beautiful perfect creatures who could swoop in and take charge of my life. But in actuality, I’d probably wind up on Confessions: Animal Hoarding.
Q: What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever written?
A: I once wrote a Guy Fieri/Shrek fan fiction. A romantic tale about how two lost souls found Flavortown in a local swamp. It is currently being considered by multiple Hollywood production companies.
Q: Unpopular opinion?
A: Kramer’s coffee table book on coffee tables that turns into a coffee table is the best invention of all time. Do not challenge me on this.