AM I A SOCIOPATH FOR TORTURING MY SIMS?

They say the bravest thing you can do is unapologetically be yourself. For so many years, I’ve been hiding a part of myself out of fear. Fear of being judged, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being rejected from society. But enough is enough. I can’t hide anymore! So here it is, the real me…

I enjoy torturing my Sims. Sometimes that means filling their home with furniture and leaving a toaster pastry in the oven until they inevitably catch on fire. Sometimes it means locking them in a tiny, doorless room and watching them slowly die of starvation. And often it means giving them the perfect life: a great career, a beautiful family, only to rip it all away bit by bit until they’re begging for death.

Listen, I know it’s bad. But what did you expect to happen when a person is given the chance to play God? Create some perfect utopia where your Sim isn’t walking in on their father and husband “woohooing” at a child’s birthday party? Laaaaaame.

When I found out other people don’t trap their Sims in a pool and watch them drown, I was frankly shocked. Apparently, many people actually want their Sims to be “happy” and “successful”. I spend enough time trying to keep myself happy and successful. Now you want me to put that effort towards my Sims? That sounds a lot like work. I don’t know about you nerds, but I’m here to play.

Sometimes I do wonder what my treatment of Sims means about my mental state. Am I a sociopath? Is it just human nature that absolute power corrupts? Do I hurt my Sims because people were mean to me in middle school and its the only way I can feel some semblance of control in my life?

Perhaps I’ll never know the answer to those questions. What I do know is how funny it is to make your Sim wet themselves on their first date. To me, that’s all that matters.